


the worst kind of forever

by DrowningInStarlight



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by helloearthings, Multi, Stolen Moments, This comes with the blanket warnings of the Hunger Games universe, and warning for some pretty stark discussions of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 08:49:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15637320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrowningInStarlight/pseuds/DrowningInStarlight
Summary: At the gala celebrating Jack Wright's victory in the Hunger Games, Sammy and Jack steal a moment to themselves.





	the worst kind of forever

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [you want to die for love, you always have](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14890313) by [helloearthlings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/helloearthlings/pseuds/helloearthlings). 



> This is set in helloearthings' wonderful Hunger Games AU 'verse, which is incredible, and if by some off chance you haven't read it-- go do it!! Helloearthlings, thank you so much for letting me play in your sandbox! I really appreciate it.

Sammy was suffocating. The air inside the ballroom was hot and heavy, thick with the smell of clashing perfumes. The room was full of swishing colour and people with predatory glares, like a jungle full of beautiful, deadly thing. He was standing in a corner, using his wild Shotgun grin to scare people away. His hand was white-knuckled on the delicate glass in his hand, he almost wanted it to break, to smash into a thousand pieces and stain the floor with violet alcohol and scarlet blood.

He'd thought that surviving his own gala would be the worst thing he'd have to do after winning the Games. Dealing with the simpering crowds, the lustful glances, the noise, the guilt, the terror-- it had been bad. He never would have survived it without Lily, taking him aside and promising that if he really needed it, she could find a way out. It was something out of a nightmare, the fact that the most comforting thing had been the way Lily had promised him that she could get hold of a Peacekeeper's gun, that he wouldn't have to be alone. 

But this, standing in the corner at Jack Wright's gala, unable to save him from those same feelings Sammy had nearly drowned in-- this was so much worse. Because people _liked_ Jack. He was charming and handsome, with that edge of danger that made people swoon over him like they would over a daring dress in a shop window. Everyone had been scared of Shotgun Sammy, with his unpredictable outbursts of violence, and that had saved him, just a little. 

It couldn't save Jack. Nothing could save Jack. Jack wouldn't even take the easy way out, because he was better than that, so much better. If Sammy craned his neck, he could see him being pulled from group to group, fawned over and toyed with. If he looked a little further, he could see Lily, see the swirl of people around her. She owned the room, as she always did, demanding all the attention she could get-- she'd always been good at that, but it was different now, more ruthless. They were all different after their Games, some part of them never left that arena. Sammy Stevens had died a long time ago, died with every Tribute, every _child_ he'd killed. 

The noise was suddenly too much to bear, and the knowledge that Jack was so close and needed him so badly, but Sammy wasn't allowed to go to him, didn't dare go to him, was burning him up from the inside out. He turned and did the only thing he was any good at any more: he ran. He pushed through the chattering crowds, causing gasps and scandalized looks. The Peacekeepers standing at the doors stiffened, but he knew better than to go that way. Instead, he pushed his way up the stairs. 

The gala building had seven levels, and there were parties on all of them, but the higher you went the more tactfully private the rooms became. Sammy didn't stop, just kept running up the staircases, trying to ignore the feeling that he was being chased again, back in the arena with a sawn off shotgun in his hand... 

He burst out onto the roof. There was a couple standing in a shadowy corner, and when they moved Sammy recognised them as Mary Lowering and Tim Jensen. They looked petrified, but Sammy was in no state to be putting two and two together, and ignored them. He obviously looked wild enough that they decided the safest thing to do would be go back inside. 

When the roof was empty, he went over to the edge and gripped the cold stone fence fiercely. Like every building where they brought the Victors, it had a forcefield to stop people jumping. Even that dignity was denied to him. 

The night air was shockingly cold after the sticky heat inside, and Sammy breathed shakily, trying to stop the sobs that were building in the back of his throat. Hadn't he cried enough since being Reaped?

No. No amount of tears could ever exonerate him from the things he'd done, from the way he'd stopped being able to tell exactly where Shotgun ended and Sammy began. He stopped fighting the sobs. 

"Sammy?" 

Sammy swung around, fists clenched, fight or flight kicking in before he'd even taken a breath. "Who's there?" he growled. 

"It's just me, Jack," he said, going across the roof towards him. "Don't worry, it's just me." 

Sammy let his fists drop. "Fuck, you scared me." 

"Sorry. Those Victors, Mary, and uh, Tim, right? They told me you were up here."

"Why?" Sammy said sharply, suddenly on his guard again. The price of someone connecting them too much in their heads would be more than Sammy ever wanted to give the Capitol.

"Well, everyone knows we're friends, don't they?" Jack said, sounding incredibly tired. "And I don't think them of all people would tell... I don't know. I needed an excuse to get out of there, anyway." 

Sammy turned away again, staring out over the lights of the Capitol. The cold stung his tearstained cheeks. "I'm so fucking sorry, Jack." 

Jack didn't reply, just shuffled up to Sammy so their sides were pressing together. 

"Tell me how I can make it better," Sammy said, resting his cheek on Jack's head. "Anything. You want me to go down there and cause a scene? Claim you as mine or some other Shotgun bullshit? 'Cause I will," he said, even as his breath went shallow with fear, "I will if it'll make it better." 

"No," Jack said emphatically. "Don't make yourself a target. They've already used me to get at Lily, I don't want give them anything else to manipulate us with." 

"What can I do?" Sammy asked, an edge of desperation in his voice. 

"Hold on," Jack said. "I know you don't want to be here. I know it's hard for you to stay, and I know that one day you and Lily will find a way to do it, and then all that will be left will be an article in the Capitol tabloids about a double suicide. But please, don't leave me alone here, with... with _them_. Not just yet. Not ever." 

"Okay," Sammy promised quietly. Because there wasn't anything in the entire world that he wouldn't do for Jack fucking Wright, and even if he was dying slowly every day he'd stay and die by Jack's side if he asked. "Okay. I'm here. I'm here." 

They stood silent for a while, staring at the city that ruled their lives, counting down the seconds till someone came and dragged them back down into hell. This was a paradise made only more beautiful by how utterly temporary it was. 

"I dreamed last night none of this existed," Jack said, waving a hand towards the lights and snuggling more into Sammy's side. "That is was just me and you." 

"Just me and you?"

"Yeah. Like we'd never been Reaped, if none of this had ever happened." 

"I wouldn't know you if we'd never been Reaped," Sammy pointed out, and Jack looked at him with accusing eyes. "Okay, okay. Carry on, babe."

"I took you on a date," Jack said wistfully. "A cute little cafe, somewhere off the beaten track."

"Where no one knows us," Sammy said.

"Yeah, exactly. And I took you home, and kissed you on the doorstep, and... And I got to tell you I love you every single day. And we could have sleepy mornings in the summer sunshine, because neither of us would get nightmares, and we would take turns cooking dinner, and be so nauseatingly domestic Lily would gag every time she came over." 

Rain started to fall lightly, a sad autumn drizzle, and it almost hid the tear that ran down Jack's cheek. "And I didn't kill ten people, and you didn't kill fifteen, and we weren't broken. We were just two guys, falling in love." 

"I like that dream," Sammy said softly. 

 

Just then they heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairwell, and Sammy and Jack sprang apart. A peacekeeper burst through the door, and said sharply "Gunderson wants you two inside. We're closing the roof off for the night." 

Sammy glanced at Jack. The subtext was easy to read-- Gunderson was tightening the leash on his performing animals. Jack nodded, and lead the way back inside. 

"I love you," Sammy whispered, as they went down the stairs. "In this world, and the dreamworld, and all the others. Nothing will ever change that." 

Jack's watery smile made everything worth it, just for a moment. They descended back into the heat of the ballroom side by side. 

 

____

 

He'd lived for Jack Wright, and look where that had landed the both of them. As he looked at Ben Arnold, small, sixteen and scared, he knew he couldn't do it again. He'd lived for Jack Wright, but he was going to die for Ben Arnold. One way or another, he was going to make sure of it.

**Author's Note:**

> This fandom deserves to have all the tropes and aus that bigger fandoms have, and we're all making that happen in the best way possible!
> 
> Thanks again to helloearthings for letting me borrow your 'verse.


End file.
